The Mike Perry Saga

HOLY CRAP!!!! The Mike Perry news today just keeps coming and I could not be enjoying it anymore than I am right now. I don’t even know where to start. 

This morning I got a text from fellow Delinquent Rob saying “THE PRINCESS IS BACK!” I begin browsing down the mma junkie timeline when I come across Platinum Princess breaking her silence. According to Simon Samano of mma junkie, the Princess claims that Perry verbally assaulted her on several occasions. Which honestly should not be a surprise to anyone. If you haven’t read the article it’s worth a read. But basically Platinum Princess tried filling a restraining order after Perry threatened to “Beat her ass”. He also said “Well then I’ll go home and burn the house down with the dogs in it.” Getting drunk and following the princess to her mother in laws. Honestly the icing on the cake is when he paid to get a blow job in a strip club and told the princess “File the papers bitch! I want a divorce” meanwhile some girl is swallowing his Platinum pistol. You can’t make this stuff up folks.

Now he never hit her. But definitely some fucked things to say and do to any human let alone your wife. Like you are gonna burn the dogs alive. Hit your wife before you hurt a dog. Platinum Princess does have a bitchy look to her but what did the dogos do to deserve that? I’ll tell you what they did… nothing! All jokes aside I hope Perry gets the professional help he needs.

Buckle up folks we are not done.

Perry is gonna need the help ASAP. Guess who is gonna be a father? Yup the guy who knocked out an old fat guy in Texas earlier this month while extremely intoxicated. Told you the Perry news was juicy. Now normally I wouldn’t tell someone what they should or shouldn’t do. But this is why we invited abortions right? Imagine a little Mike Perry running around the world screaming the N word? One Mike Perry is enough but now we have two?!?!?! Pray for humanity.

Now there is no way his girl ( the best coach in mma…. just stating the facts ) is gonna get an abortion. So I guess we welcome the world to Mike JR. I could see him naming the kid something stupid like “Rocket” or “Bear”. Please Mike JR try to do less cocaine than your dad. One would hope your IQ is higher than his. Don’t talk about how you owe taxes on national TV. If you do these things Mike JR you can be the new and improved Mike Perry.  

I would love to just be a fly on the wall once this kid is born. Can you imagine that family dynamic. That kid can do anything he wants. Imagine Mike Perry as your dad. This kid can’t fuck up. His dad has fucked up in every way possible. Also over or under 2 years before his girl leaves with the kid. Hammer the under. And yes Mike I am talking that mess online. I love you, I truly do but you don’t peg me as a model dad. Just saying…..

Stay classy delinquents and don’t burn down your home with the dogs inside!!! PEACE!!!!

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